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Chastity in that case was not about limitation for many—especially early Christian women in religious orders—but about new freedoms to live fully into grace.RNS: Drawing from theologian Christine Gudorf, you argue that we can reason that sexual pleasure is good because “it feels good.” Many who commit sexual crimes claim that it feels good, but we still condemn those acts.BM: Part of what I want to point out is that what counts as “sex,” or what activities count “against virginity,” varies in both Christian and public health circles.We tend to think of a virgin as someone who hasn’t had heterosexual intercourse, but surely oral and anal sex are just as intimate, right?

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BM: Gudorf calls sexual pleasure a premoral good, and I talk about it in terms of “solo-sex” in order to explore it without asking questions about right relationship. I have three kids, and we’ve watched the “Elmo’s Potty Time” video roughly 600,000 times.RNS: You talk about the “inner conflict” Paul experienced and mentioned in Romans 7. BM: One thing I’ve encountered with this book, mostly from folks who haven’t read it, is the assumption that because I argue that marriage is an insufficient norm for healthy and holy sexuality, I am also arguing that “anything goes.” I totally believe that there are such things as sexual sins: lust, infidelity, participation in rape culture, treating your partner poorly.

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